You Scream, Ice Cream

Robert & I are creatures of habit. Much like cats and children, we thrive with routine. We fall into happy routines easily, and have no desire to change them.  Mixing it is not necessary when you’re happy as clams together.

Every night after long days of work, and cleaning up after dinner, we settle down to cuddle the cat, eat ice cream, and watch Netflix.  Usually a gritty crime series, Doctor Who, or a cooking competition. My all time favorite is Chopped.  Ted Allen gives me life.R&C


Watching Chopped, there’s always a few cliche things that happen in each episode, without fail. They are:

  1. The “I’m not pleased with my presentation…”
  2. Followed directly by “but I’m confident in my flavors.”
  3. Someone decides it’s a good idea to fight with Marc Murphy (note: it’s not a good idea.)
  4. Someone sets something on fire
  5. Someone cuts themselves and has to put on about a million gloves.
  6. Someone forgets half the basket ingredients, and tries to justify it with
  7. “The time just got away from me.”
  8. Everything is served “en crout”
  9. Someone makes a bread pudding or french toast
  10. and tries to make it sound legit by adding some French words in.
  11. Last but certainly not least, the ice cream machine.20160113_002736

Everyone on Chopped thinks they know how to make an ice cream. They throw crap into a bowl, and throw that into the ice cream machine. They have never made it before, yet somehow they think this is a wise choice.  It melts, and they call it a semifreddo. They over churn it. They don’t add enough eggs. It tastes terrible. And without fail, someone decides to use the ice cream maker.

Usually I just accept this as a fact of the show, and I do my best not to roll my eyes. Sometimes, I get really cheesed off though. They just throw things into the ice cream machine, and (occasionally) it turns out perfect.  Please, if they can pull it off on Chopped I could certainly pull it off in my own kitchen.20160113_002723

Let me set the record straight. I am an ice cream lover. All the flavors, all the different base varieties. I love them all. Should you ask me what my favorite food is, I will say ice cream without skipping a beat.  I’ve made it at home quite a bit. I first got an ice cream machine from my mother back around 2012 for Christmas.  It did the job, but it didn’t quite freeze the ice cream hard enough.  In Christmas 2014 Robert upgraded me to the Cuisinart machine I now use.  It still doesn’t give a good hard freeze, but its a pretty big step up from my original machine.  I just pop my ice cream into the freezer for a few hours after its done churning and it gets to be pretty perfect.20160112_003153

In the spirit of Chopped cooking, I didn’t measure shit.  I just dumped it all into a bowl, threw it over a double boiler.  I am kicking myself in the face for my devil-may-care attitude. This ice cream turned out almost perfect.  I didn’t follow a recipe. I literally measured nothing.  And since there were no measurements, I had nothing to make note of to re-create this splendid ice cream.  It’s just like on Chopped. -__-20160112_003203

Unlike I Chopped, I do know what I’m doing.  Here’s a rough estimate of the ingredients I used:

  • 1 Cup Cream
  • 1/2 Cup Whole Milk
  • 1/2 Cup Sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon Salt
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla
  • 6 egg yolks
  • 2 Tablespoons Molasses
  • 3/4 Cup Hot Fudge

First things first.  Get a pot of water going for your double boiler. It’s nice to start this first so that you don’t have to keep waiting around for your water to boil.

Throw your cream into a stainless steel mixing bowl.  This bowl will be used over the double boiler, so it’s important you don’t use plastic.  Glass would work as well, but I don’t know anyone who actually has any glass bowls.  Using a hand mixer, whip your heavy cream until it at least doubles in volume.  It should be between frothy and soft peaks.

Add your yolks, and get your mixture over the double boiler.  This is a custard base, so putting the yolks over this double boiler will ensure that your custard isn’t full of raw egg.  As soon as you get it over the double boiler, start whipping it.  You need to whisk it constantly or you’ll end up with scrambled eggs. Yuck.  Keep whipping this over the heat for about 3 minutes. I didn’t take pictures of these things partially because I’m a scatterbrain, and partially because I was convinced it wouldn’t turn out quite right.

Add the milk, sugar, salt, vanilla, and molasses.  Beat this constantly until the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of the spoon. Be patient and keep whisking away.  If you stop, the eggs can scramble.  Keep fighting the good fight (whisking your delicious custard).20160111_211620

Once your mixture is nice and thick, THEN add in the hot fudge.  The fudge is pretty dense and heavy, so adding it too soon can make it seem like your custard is thicker than it really is. Should you go down that path, it probably wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it may lead to raw yolks in your custard.

Put the custard into the fridge for at least a few hours, but preferably over night.  Since it’s the middle of winter in Minnesota, I just through it outside for a few hours.  The great outdoors is commonly referred to in these parts as “the big fridge”.  With my high class culinary career, I like to think of it as “the walk-in cooler.” It’s nice to let it sit overnight in the fridge because it lets the molecules get their structure in order.  Baking is science, you guys.20160112_000746

After it’s had time to cool and rest, throw that nonsense into your ice cream machine!  Let it churn for about 20 minutes.  The nice thing about most home ice cream makers is that they don’t get cold enough to over churn your ice cream.  So let it go until it reaches the consistency of soft serve.

Freeze it for a few hours for best results, but it’s good to eat whenever.  If it gets too firm in your freezer, I just let it sit out for a while before scooping.  It’ll last quite a while in the freezer, but you’ll probably eat it all in a few days. 😉

Best served with cat cuddles and Chopped. (and maybe an upcoming recipe for homemade chocolate syrup to satiate R’s chocolate cravings?! One can never know.)

Fudge Ice cream



  • 1 Cup Cream
  • 1/2 Cup Whole Milk
  • 1/2 Cup Sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon Salt
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla
  • 6 egg yolks
  • 2 Tablespoons Molasses
  • 3/4 Cup Hot Fudge
  1. Start a pot of water for a boiling water.
  2. Whip heavy cream in stainless steel or glass bowl until soft peaks form.
  3. Mix in milk, sugar, salt, vanilla, egg yolks, and molasses. Beat constantly until the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of the spoon.
  4. Mix in fudge.
  5. Refrigerate mixture for at least a two hours, preferably over night.
  6. Churn in ice cream maker for 20 minutes.
  7. Freeze in an air tight container.




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